Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
