She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
