If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize