absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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