people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
