you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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