drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
