I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
