Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
