How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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