: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
