Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
