My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
