i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
