what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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