I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
