is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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