She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize