its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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