I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
as a side note pls kill me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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