dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need to calm my uterus...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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