Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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