is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
