you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize