Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
