i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
