someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
