Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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