Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
