I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
