Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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