I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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