It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
