Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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