I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
