You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
