Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
