This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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