i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
