also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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