He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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