boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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