3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
