Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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