he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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