The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
