The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
