my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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