I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
