That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
