i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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