You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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