In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
